i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
