He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
