There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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