Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize