butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
