Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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