I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
