I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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