You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
