I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need a burrito and a hug.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
