Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
