8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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