so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
