I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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