just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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