I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell