singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.