I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.