Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

How wet are you?

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

Ever heard of a U-boat?

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(716): View more from New York

Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."

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(360): View more from Washington

there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+61): View more from Australia

This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade

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(702): View more from Nevada

they just started filling water ballons with vodka.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

on my way.

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(706): View more from Georgia

In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.

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(334): View more from Alabama

What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub

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(509): View more from Washington

I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.

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