I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
