so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She told me I should be a condom model.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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