i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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