Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
