is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
