I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
