i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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