Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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