would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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