yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will pee on everything he values.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
