It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
