I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
