would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
