saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
