I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
