I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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