bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize