When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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