It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
