dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
