I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
this will be a night to untag.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize