If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
