If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
