No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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