My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
