once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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