I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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