i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
