carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
