hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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