I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
