The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
