Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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