Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
