All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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