i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
