I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
