Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
