did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
