Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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