I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
