You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
