Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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