i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
