literally had 100 drinks last night.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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