Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
wow bdsm is so cute
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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