You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
