Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
