Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize