He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
