garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
