Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think I just sharted jello shots
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
