yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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