The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
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I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
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One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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